My Birth Plan.. Part 1

OK, so I am a lame blogger lately. I'll try to be better. I got an email from MyPregnancy.Com today about writing out a birth plan for my hospital stay. As an L&D nurse, I sometimes roll my eyes at some of these birth plans that patients come in with. I am not a granola, natural person. I like drugs, epidurals, scheduled inductions, & I am OK with a C-Section if this kid doesn't just fall out in a few hours of labor. Try that on for a birth plan! Only I seemed to have picked a very conservative, careful, OB/GYN. He doesn't share my same idea on giving me a scheduled induction 1 wk before my due date just because I want one. He thinks my cervix needs to be ripe & my baby's head should be in the pelvis. (sigh.....) whatever.

So here is Part 1 of my dream Birth Plan for Baby Boy Light...

• My Due Date is 11/17/09 - (If I come into the hospital anytime in the week before my due date and I am not in labor, you are just going to have to keep me because I am not going home. INDUCE ME if I am not in labor.)
• I would like to be free to walk, move around, & change position at will throughout labor. (I will not be walking much as I plan on having an epidural ASAP! I agree to to change positions, but you may have to remind me and help me do so b/c I move as well as a beached whale.)
• I would like to be able to have fluids by mouth throughout the first stage of labor. (I would like to eat & drink whatever I want, whenever I want it. I know I am only going to be allowed ice chips while in labor with an epidural. I am actually an ice chomping monster right now, so just keep the ice chips coming & we’ll be fine. I will be puking occasionally while in labor & for the 1^st 24 hrs after delivery regardless of what I eat or drink, so please let me eat & chomp my ice chips at will. I will be needing IV Zofran 4mg q 6hrs while I have an IV. This will only help me feel less nauseated. I will still puke. If you don’t keep the ice chips coming, my husband will be sent to refill my ice cup. And if you don’t keep the Zofran coming, I have my own stash of Zofran that I will take while you aren’t in the room.)
• I will be bringing my own music to play during labor. (Actually no music needed, I’d rather sleep or watch TV).
• Monitoring. (I would like to have continuous fetal monitoring because I am a control freak and I want to make sure my baby is not in distress. Feel free to use external or internal monitors as needed).
• Labor Augmentation/Induction. (I would love to be AROMed to get my labor going. We can try anything: pitocin, cytotec, etc. I would like to avoid the ‘natural’ methods like walking or nipple stimulation. Walking is too much work and ‘nipple stimulation??’… Let’s just use the drugs God gave us to use.
• Anesthesia/Pain Medication. (I know pain medication exists. Let it be clear that I would like a heavy, strong epidural ASAP. I do not want to try any IV pain medication before the epidural because it will make me even more crazy than I already am. If Dr Brown is available, I pick him to do it. :)

That’s all for now… I’ll finish Part 2 later… :)